DJ Speaks Up
by Incinirmatt
Summary: DJ voices his opinion about "Total Drama: Revenge of the Island." This can only end badly.


**Author's Notes: This is a birthday fic for Akela Victorie. Check her out. She's awesome. Also, before anyone starts to complain, the following story is DJ giving his point of view about Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. Not me. That season was awesome, and the mutant animals/plants were funny as hell. Please enjoy the fic.**

The crowd was roaring, a legion of security officers pushing them away from the stage, so that no-one would dare interrupt the event that was about to occur. Camera flashes flickered all across the building despite the fact that no-one had even appeared on stage yet. What was about to happen, everyone knew. Total Drama celebrity Devon Joseph, otherwise known as DJ, was appearing in public to talk about the new season of Total Drama, "Total Drama: Revenge of the Island." Fangirls and fanboys came all across the country to see one of their favorite celebrities appear in the flesh. Even the paparazzi had come to televise the event. It seemed like such a spectacular occasion.

If anyone thought that the room, made for large-scale press conferences like this, couldn't get any more deafening, DJ walking on the stage from backstage definitely proved them wrong. The crowd began booming as DJ calmly walked to the podium, wearing a very nice tuxedo. One had to wonder how he got the tux, due to he and his mother being flat broke.

"Hello to all you fans from all across the globe!" DJ announced excitedly when he got to the podium, where the microphone was located. His voice seemed to get many to calm down, in hopes of hearing what he had to say. "Many of you have probably heard, or even seen, the new season of Total Drama, 'Total Drama: Revenge of the Island.'" At once, they began cheering again. DJ decided to give them a few seconds before continuing. "I'm sure that many of you enjoy it, but there is one fact that prevents me from enjoying it." Most of them were clueless, but the ones who knew what DJ stood for were not. In fact, those who knew him had been expecting it.

"The condition of the island is disgraceful!" DJ shouted, slamming his fist down on the podium for emphasis. "Have you even seen all the sludge and chemicals!? Nasty mutations have been occurring all across the island! Plants, animals…that place is a hazard to be in! What the hell did Chris let it become!? No—I repeat—NO area should EVER become like Wawanakwa Island!" Suddenly, the audience was feeling intimidated by how much heart DJ was putting into his speech. He really didn't like the state the island was in. It was to be expected though, what with the nuclear chemicals, the noxious fumes, lethal poisons, etc. "Every time I turn on that show, I see…just a horrible thing. There are literally pools of acid for crying out loud! Not to mention the animals look like they've gone through incredibly cruel experiments! This needs to be fixed! This needs to be stopped! I cry every time I watch that!" DJ boldly admitted, his face all too serious.

"If we can find a way to clean up that island, it would be a miracle. Think of all the small, furry creatures there. We need a solution. We need a cure. Who's with me!?" Cheers and voices of agreement echoed across the conference, the people inspired to do some good for the environment. Smiling happily, DJ looked around as his fans, until he saw a raised hand with a microphone. "Yes, you there." he said, pointing at the man. Everyone got quiet.

"Hi. Chris McClain from Total Drama." DJ's blood went cold, knowing where this was going for him. "You don't need to be concerned. Total Drama has already been aware of its toxic chemical problem, and is planning to relocate the pollution to somewhere…better."

"W-What do you mean better?" DJ asked nervously.

"Not the bus! Not Momma!" DJ cried, looking at a large crater in the ground outside of the press conference hall. Within the crater were scrap parts of a vehicle, as well as old clothes and other trinkets sitting in a pool of acid. Chris McClain, standing right beside DJ, wore his standard host outfit and a smug smirk.

"We bought the parking space you were in. Also gave you guys a fair warning," Chris began, looking down at the crater. "So we can't be blamed for your mom's death."

"H-How could you do this!?"

"Quite simple really." Chris replied, not even fazed whilst DJ began sobbing in his hands.

"M-Momma…" DJ whispered, crying as hard as he could.

"Don't fuck with Total Drama."


End file.
